Friday 1 February 2013

Seven things we like about The Shard...

The Aardvark has been commuting back and forth to London Bridge for nearly five years. In that time we've watched The Shard grow from a hole in the ground to the mighty, pointy thing it is now. Here are our invaluable thoughts on what is (currently) Europe's tallest building.

1. During its construction we overheard many of the build crew discussing their work. Not one of those conversations were in English.

2. We can save Norway a fortune as The Shard should now be declared England's official Christmas tree in perpetuity.

3. Apparently there's going to be a swimming pool installed halfway up. Do the people on the floor below have a say in this?

4. It's going to cost £25 for a visitor to go to the top and look out. That's a bit steep.

5. Wouldn't it be funny if you bought one of the £30,000,000 penthouse flats, got home and then realized you'd left your phone in the car. I get annoyed about it and I live in a bungalow.

6. What will happen to the Pakistani owned tobacconist's shop two doors down from The Shard when the workmen leave. Our guess is they'll  retire to the Maldives with the millions they've made from Polish workers buying 'zen, zilk cats, pliz'.

7. There's an outdoor escalator at the bottom of The Shard. An escalator! Outdoors! IN ENGLAND! We'll all be electrocuted!